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Be a Better Man Program

Psychoeducation for men who want to understand how living a secret sexual life is psychological abuse that impacts you and your loved ones. Nobody is perfect…However, every man can become a better man.

A confidential psychoeducation webinar-based group process for men who are dealing with deceptive sexuality. This program helps men better understand how a secret sexual life is a covert psychological operation of entitlement and abuse, the traumatic impacts to the people they love, and then how to initiate movement towards responsibility and mature masculinity.

Be a Better Man 1: The Illumination Course

Be a Better Man 1:
Illumination Course

Be a Better Man 1: Illumination Course

Be a Better Man 1: The Illumination Course is a 28-Hour, 4-day, live webinar that provides psychoeducation for men on deceptive sexuality and the traumatic impacts that sexual acting out, patterns of infidelity, and cheating often have on the intimate partner, the relationship, children and the family system. By revealing and validating the experiences of their intimate partners, participants gain an understanding of deceptive sexuality as a psychological abuse, and not just a sex problem. The primary objective here is illumination, helping men to see more clearly the psychological operation of integrity-abuse, and shining a light on the 22 specified traumatic impacts on other human beings (DST-22).
Submit your Application

Dates

  • June 5-8, 2025
  • July 10-13, 2025
  • July 31-Aug 3, 2025
  • September 4-7, 2025
  • October 9-12, 2025

Duration

  • 28-Hours
  • 4-Days Live Webinar
  • 7-Hours a Day

Time

7:00 AM – 3:00 PM PST

Pricing

$3,200 USD

Syllabus

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  1. Educational Metaphor: The Secret Sexual Basement
  2. The DST Model Iceberg Diagram
  3. Define Compulsive-Entitled Sexuality (CES)
  4. Define Integrity-Abuse (IAD)
  5. Define DCSR
  6. Define Deceptive Sexuality Trauma (DST-22)
  7. Trauma 101 (PTS and CTS-6)
  8. Underlying Contributing Factors to DCSR
  9. Gender Pathology and Secret Sexual Basement
  1. Educational Metaphor: 22 Hospital Rooms (DST-22)
  2. Abuse and Trauma 101
  3. DST Abuse and Trauma 101
  4. Three Phases of DST Model
  5. Covert Phase IAD
  6. Gaslighting Mechanics
  7. Relational Integrity Theory
  8. Exposure Phase IAD
  9. Exposure Phase Injuries
  10. Exposure Phase Symptoms
  1. Symptom Progression Phase IAD
  2. Reality-Ego Reconstruction
  3. Triadic Core
  4. Persistent Negative Relational Patterns
  5. Family, Social, Community, Existential
  6. Treatment-Induced
  1. DSTT Stages of Healing
  2. Eating Elephant
  3. IAD Work
  4. Mountain Work
  5. 3 Types of Work for the Abuser
  6. Closing of Better Man 1
Submit your Application

Be a Better Man 2: The Application Course ​

Be a Better Man 2:
Application Course

Be a Better Man 2: Application Course

Be a Better Man 2: The Application Course is a 12-week structured psychoeducation curriculum, based on the “Ten Steps to Understanding Deceptive Sexuality,” which offers focused education on the ten steps, while also providing information on ways to start developing a personal plan of action, and what types of work makes sense now, after being illuminated and seeing the problem more clearly. Each session will include a live lecture by Dr. Minwalla, small group break-out with a trained male facilitator, required reading, homework, task-work, and post-tests.

This course is only for men who have taken Be a Better Man 1: The Illumination course. If you have taken Be a Better Man 1 course, you can join the mailing list here, and we can provide you with more information.

Join Mailing List

Dates

  • April 16 – July 2, 2025

Duration

Each session is 2 hours, once per week on Wednesdays, for 12 weeks.   

Time

4:30pm – 6:30pm PST

Pre-Requisite

Must have completed the Be a Better Man 1: The Illumination Course.

Pricing

$3,600 USD

Note: This is not therapy, or treatment. All participants are required to be in therapy with a licensed mental health professional in order to take, and during, this course.

Syllabus

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The focus of education will be on behavioral change and how to create a self-study on integrity with the goal of helping men to reduce integrity-abuse behaviors. The education helps men develop a blueprint for how to apply cognitive-behavioral techniques to address specific integrity-abuse behaviors and patterns which may be getting in the way of healing.
  1. Creating an Integrity-Abuse Behavior List
  2. Assessing Vulnerabilities
  3. Identifying Responsible Responses and Coping
  4. Remaining Conscious of the Impact of Other Human Beings
  5. How to complete a Behavioral Worksheet
  6. How to create a behavioral plan and practice for your Integrity-Abuse
  7. Role of Accountability

The focus of the education is on a human being’s internal reality and how to help men understand the importance of developing ego strength and ego health more consciously so that they can care for themselves better, which may allow them to attend and care for the people and relationships they have harmed, better.

  1. Ego Reconstruction
  2. Ego Spinal Cord
  3. Ego Through-Line and Story
  4. Ego Strength and Health Work
  5. Masculinity Maturation
  6. AVT-ER Tasks 1-17

The focus of the education is on how to progressively come to terms with reality and become more able to better attend to the intimate partner or spouse, the abusive-injured relationship, as well as children and the family system.

  1. Mountain Work
  2. AVT-ER Tasks 18-35
  3. Restorative Justice Model
  4. Conscious Dignifying Circle (CDC)
  5. Intentional Vibe Theory (IVT)
The focus of the education is to review the various options for work, encourage development of a plan and then provide education on how to work the plan into an ongoing practice, a personalized and focused way to do some work, your Better Man practice.
  1. Integrity-Abuse Behavioral Change Plan
  2. Ego Work Plan
  3. Attending Work Plan
  4. Masculinity Conscious Dignifying Circle (CDC)
Day 1: Behavioral Change Work
  1. Integrity-Abuse Self-Study Program
  2. Attending Behavioral Self-Study
  1. Mountain Work and Eating Elephant
  2. Reality-Ego Reconstruction
  3. Masculinity Maturation Work
  1. Attending Better to Abusive-Injured Relationships
  2. Dealing Better with Reality and Truth
  3. Architect of Your Better Man Plan
  1. Behavioral Change Work
  2. Ego Work
  3. Attending Work
  4. Feedback on Better Man Work Plan and Practice
Submit your Application

What Men Have To Say


My wife and I are still together
I have attended Dr Minwalla's course twice. The first time gave me a GREAT foundation to help understand the information and the impact my behaviour had on my wife. It was instrumental in my wife and I's healing process. The second time really solidified the information and was a great reminder for me. I picked up more granular details the second time around which deepened my understanding of my behaviour and impact. Happy to say my wife and I are still together and moving in a positive direction and this course was a MAJOR factor.


I now understand how I harmed my wife…
Dr. Minwalla presents this material in a very empathetic and understanding manner. He doesn’t give a pass to the abuser, but he makes you very aware that he understands your pain, remorse, and what you’re going through as you hear the material. He lets you know that he is there to help you if needed. This course will help make me a better person. I now understand how I have harmed my wife as I never have before. Although she told me many times about how I was hurting her, my understanding was shallow and never real until this course.


Led with compassion and understanding…
Participating in Dr. Minwalla's workshop was the beginning of a tremendous shift in my understanding of abuse and trauma, and my behavior towards my partner and myself. While providing a new understanding that was often painful and difficult, Dr. Minwalla always led with compassion and understanding. He illuminated the harmful consequences of my deception and abuse, and never lost sight of my potential to change my behaviors and live with integrity. I remain grateful two years after taking this workshop, which was pivotal in becoming a better man and a better partner to my wife.


…an opportunity I’m glad I took.
I learned so much from taking your course and it was an opportunity I’m glad I took. I really appreciated how in depth you went with all of the concepts and made sure to break them down into ways that were easily understood. Because of that, I’ve been able to recount the information so much better than anything I’ve learned so far on my journey. It also meant so much to my wife to be seen and acknowledged as someone who has endured abuse through the years of my actions. It opened my eyes to the undeniable truth of the many different ways I have hurt her. I want you to know how much I appreciated how understanding and non judgmental your approach was through the course.


Truths instilled in his unique model…
I was chronically deceptive for more than 30 years until working with Dr. Minwalla. His wisdom and the truths instilled in his unique model allowed me to know myself, understand the negative impacts of my behaviors, and change for the better. Dr. Minwalla cares deeply about everyone who participates in his workshops, as well as the people we have harmed. He presents complex and challenging concepts in a straightforward and non-judgmental way. Dr. Minwalla creates a safe and engaging space that allows even those in crisis to begin the process of self-knowledge and healing.


Makes it so clear how I have traumatized my wife…
Thank you for the weekend. It was extremely powerful and educational. Your program and your model address the gaps in the other education and 12-step programs that I attend. It makes it so clear how I have traumatized my wife, and why my sobriety simply is not enough. Thank you, thank you, thank you.


My wife and I are still together
I have attended Dr Minwalla's course twice. The first time gave me a GREAT foundation to help understand the information and the impact my behaviour had on my wife. It was instrumental in my wife and I's healing process. The second time really solidified the information and was a great reminder for me. I picked up more granular details the second time around which deepened my understanding of my behaviour and impact. Happy to say my wife and I are still together and moving in a positive direction and this course was a MAJOR factor.


I now understand how I harmed my wife…
Dr. Minwalla presents this material in a very empathetic and understanding manner. He doesn’t give a pass to the abuser, but he makes you very aware that he understands your pain, remorse, and what you’re going through as you hear the material. He lets you know that he is there to help you if needed. This course will help make me a better person. I now understand how I have harmed my wife as I never have before. Although she told me many times about how I was hurting her, my understanding was shallow and never real until this course.

Makes it so clear how I have traumatized my wife…
Thank you for the weekend. It was extremely powerful and educational. Your program and your model address the gaps in the other education and 12-step programs that I attend. It makes it so clear how I have traumatized my wife, and why my sobriety simply is not enough. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

My wife and I are still together
I have attended Dr Minwalla's course twice. The first time gave me a GREAT foundation to help understand the information and the impact my behaviour had on my wife. It was instrumental in my wife and I's healing process. The second time really solidified the information and was a great reminder for me. I picked up more granular details the second time around which deepened my understanding of my behaviour and impact. Happy to say my wife and I are still together and moving in a positive direction and this course was a MAJOR factor.

I now understand how I harmed my wife…
Dr. Minwalla presents this material in a very empathetic and understanding manner. He doesn’t give a pass to the abuser, but he makes you very aware that he understands your pain, remorse, and what you’re going through as you hear the material. He lets you know that he is there to help you if needed. This course will help make me a better person. I now understand how I have harmed my wife as I never have before. Although she told me many times about how I was hurting her, my understanding was shallow and never real until this course.

Led with compassion and understanding…
Participating in Dr. Minwalla's workshop was the beginning of a tremendous shift in my understanding of abuse and trauma, and my behavior towards my partner and myself. While providing a new understanding that was often painful and difficult, Dr. Minwalla always led with compassion and understanding. He illuminated the harmful consequences of my deception and abuse, and never lost sight of my potential to change my behaviors and live with integrity. I remain grateful two years after taking this workshop, which was pivotal in becoming a better man and a better partner to my wife.

…an opportunity I’m glad I took.
I learned so much from taking your course and it was an opportunity I’m glad I took. I really appreciated how in depth you went with all of the concepts and made sure to break them down into ways that were easily understood. Because of that, I’ve been able to recount the information so much better than anything I’ve learned so far on my journey. It also meant so much to my wife to be seen and acknowledged as someone who has endured abuse through the years of my actions. It opened my eyes to the undeniable truth of the many different ways I have hurt her. I want you to know how much I appreciated how understanding and non judgmental your approach was through the course.

Truths instilled in his unique model…
I was chronically deceptive for more than 30 years until working with Dr. Minwalla. His wisdom and the truths instilled in his unique model allowed me to know myself, understand the negative impacts of my behaviors, and change for the better. Dr. Minwalla cares deeply about everyone who participates in his workshops, as well as the people we have harmed. He presents complex and challenging concepts in a straightforward and non-judgmental way. Dr. Minwalla creates a safe and engaging space that allows even those in crisis to begin the process of self-knowledge and healing.

Makes it so clear how I have traumatized my wife…
Thank you for the weekend. It was extremely powerful and educational. Your program and your model address the gaps in the other education and 12-step programs that I attend. It makes it so clear how I have traumatized my wife, and why my sobriety simply is not enough. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

My wife and I are still together
I have attended Dr Minwalla's course twice. The first time gave me a GREAT foundation to help understand the information and the impact my behaviour had on my wife. It was instrumental in my wife and I's healing process. The second time really solidified the information and was a great reminder for me. I picked up more granular details the second time around which deepened my understanding of my behaviour and impact. Happy to say my wife and I are still together and moving in a positive direction and this course was a MAJOR factor.

I now understand how I harmed my wife…
Dr. Minwalla presents this material in a very empathetic and understanding manner. He doesn’t give a pass to the abuser, but he makes you very aware that he understands your pain, remorse, and what you’re going through as you hear the material. He lets you know that he is there to help you if needed. This course will help make me a better person. I now understand how I have harmed my wife as I never have before. Although she told me many times about how I was hurting her, my understanding was shallow and never real until this course.

Led with compassion and understanding…
Participating in Dr. Minwalla's workshop was the beginning of a tremendous shift in my understanding of abuse and trauma, and my behavior towards my partner and myself. While providing a new understanding that was often painful and difficult, Dr. Minwalla always led with compassion and understanding. He illuminated the harmful consequences of my deception and abuse, and never lost sight of my potential to change my behaviors and live with integrity. I remain grateful two years after taking this workshop, which was pivotal in becoming a better man and a better partner to my wife.

What Men Have To Say

I now understand how I harmed my wife…
Dr. Minwalla presents this material in a very empathetic and understanding manner. He doesn’t give a pass to the abuser, but he makes you very aware that he understands your pain, remorse, and what you’re going through as you hear the material. He lets you know that he is there to help you if needed. This course will help make me a better person. I now understand how I have harmed my wife as I never have before. Although she told me many times about how I was hurting her, my understanding was shallow and never real until this course.
Led with compassion and understanding …
Participating in Dr. Minwalla's workshop was the beginning of a tremendous shift in my understanding of abuse and trauma, and my behavior towards my partner and myself. While providing a new understanding that was often painful and difficult, Dr. Minwalla always led with compassion and understanding. He illuminated the harmful consequences of my deception and abuse, and never lost sight of my potential to change my behaviors and live with integrity. I remain grateful two years after taking this workshop, which was pivotal in becoming a better man and a better partner to my wife.
…an opportunity I’m glad I took.
I learned so much from taking your course and it was an opportunity I’m glad I took. I really appreciated how in depth you went with all of the concepts and made sure to break them down into ways that were easily understood. Because of that, I’ve been able to recount the information so much better than anything I’ve learned so far on my journey. It also meant so much to my wife to be seen and acknowledged as someone who has endured abuse through the years of my actions. It opened my eyes to the undeniable truth of the many different ways I have hurt her. I want you to know how much I appreciated how understanding and non judgmental your approach was through the course.
Truths instilled in his unique model…
I was chronically deceptive for more than 30 years until working with Dr. Minwalla. His wisdom and the truths instilled in his unique model allowed me to know myself, understand the negative impacts of my behaviors, and change for the better. Dr. Minwalla cares deeply about everyone who participates in his workshops, as well as the people we have harmed. He presents complex and challenging concepts in a straightforward and non-judgmental way. Dr. Minwalla creates a safe and engaging space that allows even those in crisis to begin the process of self-knowledge and healing.
Makes it so clear how I have traumatized my wife…
Thank you for the weekend. It was extremely powerful and educational. Your program and your model address the gaps in the other education and 12-step programs that I attend. It makes it so clear how I have traumatized my wife, and why my sobriety simply is not enough. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
My wife and I are still together...
I have attended Dr Minwalla's course twice. The first time gave me a GREAT foundation to help understand the information and the impact my behaviour had on my wife. It was instrumental in my wife and I's healing process. The second time really solidified the information and was a great reminder for me. I picked up more granular details the second time around which deepened my understanding of my behaviour and impact. Happy to say my wife and I are still together and moving in a positive direction and this course was a MAJOR factor.

Frequently Asked Questions

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  1. All applicants and participants must be stabilized in treatment and must have their own individual psychotherapy process with a licensed mental health professional.
  2. This course is for men who have already listened and read some of Dr. Minwalla’s work and truly desire to learn more from him about the abuse and trauma in having a secret sexual life.
  3. This is not for men wanting to “save their marriage” or “fix things” or who desire to engage in this course because “someone else wants them to do the course”.
  1. No. These courses are psychoeducation and do not constitute psychotherapy or treatment.
  2. Participation in any course does not establish a therapist-patient relationship between you and Dr. Minwalla or any ISH faculty.
  3. Participants should rely upon your required individual therapist if any clinical symptoms arise during or after the course.

Psychoeducation refers to the process of providing education and information to those seeking or receiving mental health services.

Yes.

Yes.

No. This psychoeducation on zoom is only for men, not couples, and does not involve the intimate partner.

Yes. Trish Haight, LMFT, SEP, NARM, NATouch, AF-EMDR, DSTT, CSAT, CPTT, CCPS is now conducting the same curriculum, separate from ISH as part of her independent private practice called, Here I Am Becoming: The Sister Course for women impacted by deceptive sexuality.

HERE I AM BECOMING: The Sister Course

HERE I AM BECOMING:
Sister Course

HERE I AM BECOMING: Sister Course

HERE I AM BECOMING: The Sister Course is a 42-Hour, 5-day, live webinar +1 day (Synthesis & Planning)that provides psychoeducation for female survivors, curated and conducted independently through the Private Practice of Trish Haight, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), SEP, NARM, NATouch, AF-EMDR, DSTT, CSAT, CPTT, CCPS. Trish will present the same Illumination curriculum from the Better Man 1 Course specifically for the intimate partner or spouse who has been harmed and impacted by deceptive sexuality. The primary objective here is illumination to help empower and offer stabilization by shining a light on the DST model and specifically the 22 specified traumatic impacts (DST-22).
Trish's Practice

Dates

  • Feb 12-16, 2024 & Feb 23, 2024 (Synthesis & Planning)

Duration

  • 42-Hours
  • 5-Days Live Webinar
  • +1 Day (Synthesis & Planning)
  • 7-Hours a Day

Time

8:00 AM – 4:00 PM PST

Syllabus

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  • Approach Transition Condition (ATC)
  • Trauma 101 (PTS, CTS-6 and Trauma Healing Modalities)
  • Three Phases of DST Model
  • DSTT Five Stages of Healing
  • 4 Critical Injuries and the Traumatic Story
  • Educational Metaphor: The Secret Sexual Basement & Defining DCSR
  • The DST Model Iceberg Diagram
  • Define Compulsive-Entitled Sexuality (CES)
  • Define Integrity-Abuse (IAD)
  • Define Deceptive Sexuality Trauma (DST-22)
  • Underlying Contributing Factors to DCSR
  • Gender Pathology and Secret Sexual Basements
  • Closing the Day: Safety and Self-Care
  • ATC
  • Covert Phase IAD
  • Gaslighting Mechanics
  • Relational Integrity Theory
  • Exposure Phase IAD
  • Exposure Phase Injuries
  • Discovery
  • Disclosure
  • Reality-Ego Fragmentation
  • Attachment Injuries
  • Closing the Day: Safety and Self-Care
  • ATC
  • Intrusions
  • Avoidance and Numbing
  • Alterations in Thought and Mood
  • Arousal and Reactivity
  • Distress and Impairment
  • Dissociation
  • Closing the Day: Safety and Self-Care
  • ATC
  • Symptom Progression Phase IAD
  • Reality-Ego Reconstruction
  • Triadic Core: Sexuality, Gender, Physical Body
  • Persistent Negative Relational Patterns
  • Family, Social, Community, Existential
  • Treatment-Induced Trauma
  • Closing the Day: Safety and Self-Care
  • ATC
  • Three Plates Spinning and Attending to all injured parts: Abuser, Victim, Injured Relationship
  • Eating Elephant: Metabolization and Integration
  • The Three “I”s: Integrity, Intimacy, Integration
  • Movement and Creating Internal Spaciousness
  • Restorative Justice and Embodiment
  • Empowerment and Transformational Paths
  • Resourcing
  • Safety-Netting Connectedness, and Rebounding
  • Landing, Restoring, Rising, and Becoming
  • Closing the 5-Day Program and Prepping for 1-Day Synthesis and Planning, Homework, Safety and Self-Care
  • One day check-in, debrief, and synthesis of 5-day Psychoeducation Process Webinar with preparation of your individual healing path of Landing, Restoring, Rising, and Becoming.
Trish's Practice

The Institute for Sexual Health (ISH) is approved by the American Psychological Association to sponsor continuing education for psychologists. The Institute for Sexual Health maintains responsibility for this program and its content.

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©️ Omar Minwalla, Psy.D. 2025-2026, All Rights Reserved.