Minwalla School
Deceptive Sexuality & Trauma Resource Library
For those who resonate with Dr. Minwalla’s work and voice, and are seeking more information, this page is for you.
Minwalla School
Deceptive Sexuality & Trauma Resource Library
For those who resonate with Dr. Minwalla’s work and voice, and are seeking more information, this page is for you. For those who resonate with Dr. Minwalla’s work and voice, and are seeking more information, this page is for you. For those who resonate with Dr. Minwalla’s work and voice, and are seeking more information, this page is for you.
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Deceptive Sexuality & Trauma Resource Library
Hot Topics
The Gigantic Elephant in the Room
Naming, or not naming, chronic patterns of abuse, violation and harm in intimate relationships due to deceptive sexuality.
The Traumatic Impacts of Deceptive Sexuality
Dr. Minwalla articulates the traumatic impacts of deceptive sexuality on the intimate partner and relationships.
The Secret Sexual Basement
An educational metaphor to facilitate a foundational understanding of deceptive sexuality and the clinical term, deceptive, compartmentalized sexual-relational reality (DCSR).
DSTT Informational Justice Clarification Statement, Dr. Omar Minwalla, 2023
Deceptive Sexuality and Trauma Treatment (DSTT) is:
- Not a co-responsibility for infidelity model of treatment.
- Not a single diagnosis of compulsive sexual behavior disorder.
- Not the sex addiction model (i.e., it is not a single-diagnosis addiction concept only).
- Not a betrayal trauma treatment, betrayal recovery, or a partners of sex addicts trauma model. Deceptive sexuality trauma (DST) is different and distinct from betrayal trauma.
- Not a model that endorses, but refutes the concepts of co-sex addiction, prodependence/ prodependency, and/or codependency to treat survivors of psychological abuse or the abusive-injured relationship.
- Not a model that endorses, but refutes the concepts and the proposed treatments for sexual anorexia and/or intimacy anorexia.
- Not a model that endorses, but refutes the application of the Karpman drama triangle to victims of psychological abuse or to abusive-injured relationship(s).
- Not a problem sexuality diagnosis, and refutes attempts to modify human sexual arousal or to medicalize faith-based ideologies or misinformed moral judgment.
- Not a model that endorses, but refutes attachment-based treatments for intimate partner abuse, and instead utilizes a restorative justice model to treat abusive-injured relationship(s).
- Not a model that avoids the treatment of abuse, victimization, or trauma according to psychological practice guidelines and ethical responsibilities articulated clearly by the American Psychological Association (APA).
The Gigantic Elephant in the Room
Published on: February 10, 2020
Cheating is Domestic Abuse?
Published on: March 26, 2015
Shedding Light on Integrity-Abuse Disorder (IAD)
Published on: February 14, 2020
The Secret Sexual Basement
Published on: March 23, 2020
What Up Dude?
Published on: April 28, 2020
Integrity-Abuse causes Psychological Harm
Published on: December 7, 2021
Entitlement, Integrity, and Personality Templates:
Published on: November 30, 2021
A Call to Action: Co-Sex Addict or Abuse and Trauma Survivor?
Published on: March 25, 2015
Trying to Turn the Titanic Around: “Get on the Bus, or Get off the Bus”
The professional evolution from the co-sex addiction model towards a betrayal trauma model among sex addiction professionals: Interview with Dr. Stephanie Carnes.
Published on: October 25, 2019
Deceptive Sexuality and Trauma (DST): A Clinical Model
Published on: May 3, 2022
The Secret Sexual Basement:
The Traumatic Impacts of Deceptive Sexuality on the Intimate Partner and Relationship
Dr. Minwalla articulates the traumatic impacts of deceptive sexuality on the intimate partner and the abusive-injured relationship. This reviews specific injuries and trauma symptoms in three phases of abuse and trauma. This paper is a deep-dive into better understanding the experiences of victims of deceptive sexuality, based on 20 years of listening to human voices and stories in clinical practice.
Published on: November 29, 2021
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Deceptive Sexuality and Trauma: A Clinical Model
This is a clinical description of the Deceptive Sexuality and Trauma Model, and provides education on the foundational parts, which are Compulsive-Entitled Sexuality (CES), Integrity-Abuse Disorder (IAD), and the traumatic impacts (DST).
Published on: January 3, 2022
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DSTT Clarification Statement
This paper is important informational justice, meaning that it helps everyone be more clear about this model and how it is unique and different from other treatments, in order to help people better understand as they seek resources. DSTT is not the sex addiction model and is not a betrayal trauma model for deceptive partner abuse and trauma.
Published on: August 26, 2022
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‘Sexual Sobriety’ Leaves Victims Untreated
Published on: March 31, 2015
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Partners of Sex Addicts Need Treatment for Trauma
The focus of traditional sex addiction-compulsivity treatment models tends to be on diagnosing and stopping specific sexual behaviors, termed “sexual sobriety.” This is the original article that was published in 2012 in the National Psychologist and is no longer in print. It was one of the original pairs that challenges the field.
Published on: July 30, 2012
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What is Deceptive Sexuality?
Deceptive sexuality involves someone having a deceptive, compartmentalized, sexual- relational reality in the context of an intimate relationship(s) or family system. Think of it as something like a Secret Sexual Basement – a place that houses a person’s deceptively hidden sexual, romantic, and/ or emotional intimacy with others that …
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Deceptive sexuality involves someone having a deceptive, compartmentalized, sexual- relational reality in the context of an intimate relationship(s) or family system. Think of it as something like a Secret Sexual Basement – a place that houses a person’s deceptively hidden sexual, romantic, and/ or emotional intimacy with others that is not shared with the primary intimate partner. A place that is characterized by an ongoing system of psychological and relational control, domination, violation, and harm.
The majority of people who struggle with repetitive and problematic sexual behaviors and seek clinical intervention are in relationships (often intimate partnerships or marriages), have families, and may be parents as well. In fact, most clinicians working with these individuals indicate that one of the primary motivators for treatment is the impact on the partnership, the marriage, and/or the family.
What has not been part of the focus in any of the dominant diagnostic and treatment models is that patterns of repetitive and problematic sexual behaviors are often part of a deceptive, compartmentalized sexual or relational reality (DCSR) within the context of intimate relationship(s). DCSRs are intentionally hidden and separated from the rest of the person’s life and reality, which has a huge, negative impact on the person’s partner and family.
The educational metaphor of, “the secret sexual basement”, is synonymous with the clinical term, DCSR, which is a sexual or reality that is being covertly managed through a strategic psychological operation of intentionally manipulated reality (IMR) used by the abuser to keep two realties separate in attempt to prevent the people upstairs from knowing the truth of their realities. In fact, deceptive sexuality trauma (DST), can be described as the traumatic injuries and symptoms that occur from being subjected to a DCSR, deceptive, compartmentalized, sexual-relational reality.
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What is Deceptive Sexuality?
Couples and individuals dealing with problematic sexual behaviors might typically hear the terms compulsive sexual behavior disorder, sexual addiction, infidelity used to describe their experiences. But these words don’t fully capture the holistic nature of what actually goes on in these situations. An exclusive focus on sexual behaviors …
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Couples and individuals dealing with problematic sexual behaviors might typically hear the terms compulsive sexual behavior disorder, sexual addiction, infidelity used to describe their experiences. But these words don’t fully capture the holistic nature of what actually goes on in these situations. An exclusive focus on sexual behaviors is incomplete, as problematic sexual behaviors are often accompanied by a tragic pattern of abuse and injury that deeply impacts partners and family members for years to come.
Deceptive Sexuality and Trauma (DST) presents a more complete picture of the presence and impact of sexual acting-out behaviors. Deceptive sexuality refers to problematic sexual behaviors in combination with associated patterns of domestic and intimate partner abuse that frequently leads to devastating traumatic injuries. In other words, deceptive sexuality is a clinical syndrome that involves two pathological systems: one that relates to the inability to control sexual urges or behaviors and/or sexual entitlement (which we call Compulsive-Entitled Sexuality, or CES), and another that includes integrity violations and abusive actions (Integrity-Abuse Disorder, or IAD).
Many people suffer from deceptive sexuality and experience significant psychological, social, and life consequences as a result. These individuals, along with their partners and family members, often seek professional treatment and need clinical support. Unfortunately, we lack a formal, professional consensus on how to best to diagnose and treat this issue.
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What is a Deceptive, Compartmentalized, Sexual-Relational Reality, DCSR?
Deceptive sexuality involves someone having a deceptive, compartmentalized, sexual- relational reality in the context of an intimate relationship(s) or family system. Think of it as something like a Secret Sexual Basement – a place that houses a person’s deceptively hidden sexual, romantic, and/ or emotional intimacy with others that …
Read more 
Deceptive sexuality involves someone having a deceptive, compartmentalized, sexual- relational reality in the context of an intimate relationship(s) or family system. Think of it as something like a Secret Sexual Basement – a place that houses a person’s deceptively hidden sexual, romantic, and/ or emotional intimacy with others that is not shared with the primary intimate partner. A place that is characterized by an ongoing system of psychological and relational control, domination, violation, and harm.
The majority of people who struggle with repetitive and problematic sexual behaviors and seek clinical intervention are in relationships (often intimate partnerships or marriages), have families, and may be parents as well. In fact, most clinicians working with these individuals indicate that one of the primary motivators for treatment is the impact on the partnership, the marriage, and/or the family.
What has not been part of the focus in any of the dominant diagnostic and treatment models is that patterns of repetitive and problematic sexual behaviors are often part of a deceptive, compartmentalized sexual or relational reality (DCSR) within the context of intimate relationship(s). DCSRs are intentionally hidden and separated from the rest of the person’s life and reality, which has a huge, negative impact on the person’s partner and family.
The educational metaphor of, “the secret sexual basement”, is synonymous with the clinical term, DCSR, which is a sexual or reality that is being covertly managed through a strategic psychological operation of intentionally manipulated reality (IMR) used by the abuser to keep two realties separate in attempt to prevent the people upstairs from knowing the truth of their realities. In fact, deceptive sexuality trauma (DST), can be described as the traumatic injuries and symptoms that occur from being subjected to a DCSR, deceptive, compartmentalized, sexual-relational reality.
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What is the Educational Metaphor: The Secret Sexual Basement?
According to the DST Model, deceptive sexuality includes behaviors aimed at creating and maintaining a deceptive, compartmentalized, sexual reality (DCSR). The technical term DCSR is understood metaphorically through the concept of a secret sexual basement. The metaphor of a secret sexual basement helps us better identify …
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According to the DST Model, deceptive sexuality includes behaviors aimed at creating and maintaining a deceptive, compartmentalized, sexual reality (DCSR). The technical term DCSR is understood metaphorically through the concept of a secret sexual basement. The metaphor of a secret sexual basement helps us better identify and understand the integrity abuse. Through metaphor, we recognize that in addition to the sexual, relational behaviors occurring in the basement, there is also the process of creating the basement as well as the psychology and behavioral tactics that keep the basement in place. An ongoing, covert deceptive system takes places that manipulates reality and relational dynamics in an effort to sustain the basement, effectively harming and traumatizing everyone in the house.
Professionals who work with individuals impacted by deceptive sexuality must be aware of the multi- faceted factors involved in creating and maintaining secret sexual basements. Truly understanding this complicated system and addressing the integrity abuse involves treating more than just the behaviors in the basement. It also requires focus on the psychology and behaviors involved in the creation and maintenance of the DCSR.
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What is Compulsive-Entitled Sexuality (CES)?
Compulsive-Entitled Sexuality (CES) refers to an inability or an unwillingness to control sexual urges or behaviors, even when they cause significant negative consequences. People may experience CES because of a compulsive-addiction disorder and/or a pathological level of perceived sexual entitlement. Indeed, many patients …
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Compulsive-Entitled Sexuality (CES) refers to an inability or an unwillingness to control sexual urges or behaviors, even when they cause significant negative consequences. People may experience CES because of a compulsive-addiction disorder and/or a pathological level of perceived sexual entitlement. Indeed, many patients present with at least some behavioral control problems and sexual entitlement.
Examples of CES include a lack of ability to control impulses or a perceived sense of entitlement as well as engaging in problematic patterns of pornography use, infidelity, prostitution, cybersex, flirting. Sometimes CES can extend into clinical concerns such as sexual offending, abuse of power in the workplace, etc.
The Deceptive Sexuality and Trauma Model proposes that CES is one of the primary symptoms of the deceptive sexuality diagnosis. In addition to being a main driver of problematic sexual behavior patterns, CES also plays a big role in associated abusive behaviors such as lying, deception, and psychological manipulation.
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What is Integrity-Abuse Disorder (IAD)?
The other primary criteria of the deceptive sexuality diagnosis is Integrity-Abuse Disorder (IAD), which is a type of conduct disorder that is defined by a significant lack of integrity and a covert relational abuse system. IAD is characterized by sociopathic patterns of behavior, antisocial behaviors that are characterized by long-term patterns …
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- a long-term pattern of disregard for, or violation of, the rights of others
- a demonstrated lack of empathy toward others
- deception and manipulation of the truth
- psychological manipulation of others’ realities (gaslighting)
- exploiting others for personal gain or pleasure through
- superficial charm, seduction, or intimidation
- deficits in integrity, and/or morality
- impulsivity and reckless behaviors
- partner, relationship, child, and/or family risk-taking and endangerment
- a lack of remorse; callous attitude toward those people harmed
- intentional withholding of life-altering survival-based information
- externalizing of responsibility
- defensive tactics that violate integrity
- victim-blaming or relationship-blaming
- an ongoing system of covert domination/control and coercive control
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How is a Secret Sexual Life a System of Covert Dominance and Control?
During the covert phase, abusers tend to have a significant amount of covert power and control over their partners, including coercive control (a catch-all term that emphasizes the core of most domestic abuse, which is the need for power and control over another person and incorporates numerous types of nonphysical domestic abuse patterns …
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During the covert phase, abusers tend to have a significant amount of covert power and control over their partners, including coercive control (a catch-all term that emphasizes the core of most domestic abuse, which is the need for power and control over another person and incorporates numerous types of nonphysical domestic abuse patterns; Candela, 2016). By withholding important information from their partners, they effectively strip away their partners’ ability to truly understand key aspects of their intimate relationships, along with the power to make healthy, self-protective decisions. Abusers who hold sexual secrets prevent their partners from taking action based on reality, and ultimately keep them paralyzed in a destructive pattern of uninformed immobility or chronic disempowerment and coercive control (Candela, 2016). There are some abusers who have convinced themselves that it is considerate and protective to intentionally keep their partners and family members unaware of the DCSR, as if it’s an act of chivalry. This belief reinforces a sense of power and dominance and assumes that the partner and family members are too weak to handle the DCSR, that they need protection from it, or that they are somehow not worthy of being able to determine their own destinies.
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Why the Term Deceptive Sexuality Trauma?
The specific term, deceptive sexuality trauma, refers specifically to the trauma that results from prolonged subjugation, over time, to the specific type of sexual-relational integrity-abuse and compulsive-entitled sexuality behaviors and patterns that are often experienced by victims of deceptive sexuality. This trauma often includes CTS that …
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What is the Difference Between Betrayal Trauma and Deceptive Sexuality Trauma?
Deceptive sexuality trauma, or DST, must not be mistaken or misunderstood as meaning the same as the more general term, betrayal trauma. The science behind the term, betrayal trauma (Gómez, J. M. & Freyd, J. J., 2019), is distinct and different from the science of deceptive sexuality trauma (Minwalla, 2019), and hence is important that people know the …
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- Deceptive sexuality trauma includes betrayal trauma but is not the same. Deceptive sexuality trauma describes the trauma that occurs from Deceptive, Compartmentalized, Sexual and/or Relational Realities (DCSR), basically the trauma from infidelity and having a secret sexual life, recognizing the psychological operation of Intentionally Manipulated Reality (IMR) and describing those traumatic injuries and symptoms that occur from that specific Integrity-Abuse-Disorder (IAD).
- Betrayal trauma is a more general term that may include childhood sexual abuse or institutional betrayal.
- Betrayal trauma theory (Freyd, J. J., 1997) does not describe the 22 traumatic injuries and symptoms based on deceptive sexuality and trauma grounded theory, which articulates the impact of deceptive, compartmentalized, sexual and relational reality in the context of an intimate relationship or family system, referred to as DST-22.
- Betrayal trauma theory (Freyd, J. J., 1997) does not name Compulsive-Entitled-Sexuality (CES), or Integrity-Abuse-Disorder (IAD), a specified psychological abuse disorder and form of intimate partner abuse and relationship maltreatment.
- Deceptive Sexuality and Trauma (DST) is a specified type of trauma that includes the impacts of compulsive sexual behavior disorder, sexual addiction, sexual and emotional infidelity, post-infidelity trauma, attachment trauma, psychological intimate partner and relationship abuse and trauma, attachment injury and trauma, betrayal trauma, institutional betrayal trauma, psychological abuse disorder, acute stress and post-traumatic stress, and complex trauma, and hence should not be reduced simply to “betrayal trauma”.
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What is the Problem with Traditional Treatments for Infidelity and Sex Addiction?
Traditional clinical models for understanding sexual acting out problems have focused solely on the repeating sexual behaviors, while often ignoring the chronic sociopathic and abusive behavioral patterns, the psychological abuse disorder, and a specified intimate partner abuse. Essentially, these models have focused on only one part of …
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- Failure to recognize the abuse. The first problem with traditional clinical models is that they don’t acknowledge the patterns of emotional, psychological, and relational abuse perpetrated on intimate partners and families of those with deceptive sexuality. Deceptive sexuality is indeed a particularly destructive form of intimate partner abuse and domestic abuse. Often, there are ongoing patterns of abuse that victims experience for years, and the consequences are significant. This type of abuse is psychological in nature, not physical. It is the covert psychological operation required to keep two realities separate, the upstairs of the metaphorical house, and the secret sexual basement downstairs, being kept separate through intentionally manipulating the reality (IMR) of the people upstairs. It is a psychological operation, that just like similar military operations, are designed to weaken and gain power over people, and hence a form of covert domination and control.
- Failure to recognize the trauma. Traditional clinical models do not recognize or understand the trauma symptoms experienced by these partners and family members. Sadly, however, this type of trauma is pervasive, intensely distressing, and in need of timely and appropriate diagnosis and treatment. Traditional models have ignored these trauma-related symptoms, and few practitioners in the psychological field as a whole have a solid conceptualization of this type of trauma. Deceptive sexuality trauma, or DST, is a specified trauma-and stressor related disorder, which occurs when victims are subjected to ongoing patterns of Compulsive-Entitled Sexuality (CES) and Integrity-Abuse (IA) in the context of an intimate partnership or family system, which is diagnosed as a specified partner or spouse psychological abuse disorder, called deceptive sexuality. DSTT has identified and describes 22 traumatic injuries and symptoms based on grounded theory referred to as the DST-22, which informs clinical assessment, stabilization, and treatment for survivors.
- Failure to recognize and support the victims. In addition to not recognizing the trauma, many clinical models lack consciousness about the victims of deceptive sexuality. There has been a profound neglect of the partners and families who are exposed to, and impacted by, these problems. Traditional treatment models have either excluded partners and family members from clinical consideration or, even more damaging, have tended to misdiagnose them. Some models rely on general couples or sex therapy approaches, while others still use victim-blaming interventions based on the traditional concepts of co-sex addiction and codependency. Partners are often “educated” that their responses and reactions are actually part of the relationship problem or are symptoms of a co-addiction that require treatment and management. Unfortunately, none of these approaches appropriately recognize, diagnose, or attempt to treat the abuse, victimization, and specified trauma-related symptoms.
- Failure to identify a disorder. The field frequently uses terms such as sex addiction, compulsive sexual behavior, out of control sexual behavior, and impulse control problem, or infidelity. But these terms do not attempt to describe any type of abuse problem, sociopathic behavior patterns, or conduct disorder. The field has clearly failed to recognize the presence and impact of deceptive sexuality as a type of disorder. There is no established awareness of an integrity-abuse disorder as the cause of the abuse/trauma. And there are no notable efforts put towards recognizing the role of a systemic abuse problem in causing significant trauma-related symptoms.
This needs to change.
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What is the Deceptive Sexuality and Trauma (DST) Model?
The Deceptive Sexuality and Trauma (DST) Model expands the understanding, diagnosis, and treatment of sexual acting out disorders. It identifies deceptive sexuality as a form of domestic abuse. It represents a clinical step forward in the field and a significant advancement in the treatment of sexual acting out. This model confronts the …
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- The DST Model expands the traditional, single-concept diagnosis of either sex addiction or compulsive sexual behavior to include Compulsive-Entitled- Sexuality (CES), recognizing the role of sexual entitlement as a major factor that contributes to problematic sexual behavior patterns.
- The DST Model gives attention to the roles that conduct disorder and covert psychological and relational abuse behaviors play in sexual acting-out behaviors and considers these pathological patterns to be a type of Integrity-Abuse-Disorder (IAD).
- The DST Model identifies partners and family members of people with Deceptive Sexuality as victims of abuse who often experience devastating trauma symptoms. As such, this model shines a light on the abuse-victim dynamic that so frequently occurs in these situations and challenges the codependency view that has often been associated with the single-concept diagnosis of co-sex addiction.
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Why Deceptive Sexuality and Trauma Treatment?
- Remedies the victim-blaming and …
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- Remedies the victim-blaming and diagnostic mislabeling of deceptive sexuality victims
- Designates a name for the abuse disorder associated with deceptive sexuality
- Provides effective treatments for abusers, victims, and the relationships injured by deceptive sexuality
- Helps mental health professionals recognize and treat the abusive impacts of deceptive sexuality from an abuse-victim-trauma consciousness
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Abuse-Victim-Trauma (AVT) Consciousness?
DSTT applies an abuse-victim-trauma consciousness to the diagnosis and clinical treatment and management of compulsive sexual behavior disorder, sex addiction, and infidelities. The model focuses on the process of perceiving, identifying, recognizing, naming, changing, and evolving our understanding of abuse, the victimization of human …
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DSTT applies an abuse-victim-trauma consciousness to the diagnosis and clinical treatment and management of compulsive sexual behavior disorder, sex addiction, and infidelities. The model focuses on the process of perceiving, identifying, recognizing, naming, changing, and evolving our understanding of abuse, the victimization of human beings, and the resulting traumatic impacts. Abuse-victim-trauma consciousness is essential for understanding deceptive sexuality and is the primary contribution of the DSTT clinical model. Treatment for deceptive sexuality should be informed by a consciousness of an abuse dynamic; an abuser, victim(s), and abusive-injured relationship(s). Treatment should not be solely focused on a sexuality problem or a moral problem.
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What is the Minwalla Model?
The Minwalla Model refers to Dr. Minwalla’s emerging consciousness; his set of teachings, evolving concepts, and voice, intended to illuminate abuse-victim-trauma-existing realities, human sexuality, gender, masculinity, and human rights in order to move humanity towards justice. This includes the articulation of a conscious technology …
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The Minwalla Model refers to Dr. Minwalla’s emerging consciousness; his set of teachings, evolving concepts, and voice, intended to illuminate abuse-victim-trauma-existing realities, human sexuality, gender, masculinity, and human rights in order to move humanity towards justice. This includes the articulation of a conscious technology and practice of creating extraordinary space for the purposes of learning and healing- a modality based on Intentional Vibe Theory (IVT). DSTT is simply Dr. Minwalla’s current focal point of illumination, the vanishing point of infidelity and sex addiction treatment, a derivative of the broader Minwalla Model, which exists as an expansive dimensional plane of perspective and consciousness.
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What is Intentional Vibe Theory (IVT)?
Intentional Vibe Theory (IVT) postulates that Intentionally Manipulated Reality (IMR) promotes disease and that Intentionally Accurate-Authentic Reality (IAR) promotes health and informs Intentional Vibe Theory Treatment (IVTT), a psychological healing model, method and vibrational science that defines a unique treatment for trauma, particularly …
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Intentional Vibe Theory (IVT) postulates that Intentionally Manipulated Reality (IMR) promotes disease and that Intentionally Accurate-Authentic Reality (IAR) promotes health and informs Intentional Vibe Theory Treatment (IVTT), a psychological healing model, method and vibrational science that defines a unique treatment for trauma, particularly systemic abuse and injustice, and the complex trauma sequences that result to not only individuals but groups of peoples and communities. IVTT based approaches usher in a unique method and way of treating systemic abu